I am thirty. I’ve officially entered a new decade. I’m grateful I don’t have to live as teenage Katie again who was just so thirsty for approval. I don’t have to live as early 20s Katie who literally had no idea which direction to take her life in.
I think something that is so good about getting older is experience. You actually know how to deal with so much more than your younger naive self. I feel like I’m going to sound naive even writing this but I’ve seen some rough things and come through the other side. The rough things don’t have to phase me like they did before.
Truthfully, getting “old” feels like an accomplishment. I’ve survived.
I survived thinking that dance was the only thing I had going for me.
I survived thinking that people would love me more if I was skinnier.
I survived dating my husband long distance.. and waiting to see if we would actually get married.
I survived retiring from chasing a dance career.
I survived becoming a Christian and dealing with nearly every friend I had lose interest in being my friend because of it.
I survived being and intern.
I survived biking to work in the city… over and over again.
I survived sleeping alone in my apartment.
I survived moving into 4 different homes and having 7 different roommates.
I survived planning a wedding in 3 months. Pff. It was even FUN for me.
I survived losing all 4 of my grandparents.
I survived having my sister move away MULTIPLE times. (probably one of the hardest things on this list)
I survived breaking my collarbone in a soccer game, and staying home on the couch for 11 weeks while it healed.
I survived shooting 40+ weddings
I survived singing onstage for 2000+ people.
I survived heartbreak & rejection.
I survived having my top fall down onstage on my 19th birthday. (I KNOW)
I survived multiple job changes, interviews, hirings and firings.
I survived working in ministry for 4.5 years.
I survived having an eating disorder and I survived recovering from it.
All this is really just to praise God. Without Him I can’t imagine how I ever would have made it this far. As He was with me before, He is with me always. And I don’t have perfect faith or a perfect relationship with Jesus. I spent way too much time trying to be perfect but Jesus is the only one who could be perfect for me. And I just get to rest in that. He’s paid the penalty for me so that I get to be with Him. It is not all my success or my failure that God sees. God looks at me and He sees Jesus’ victory. He sees how Jesus changed me from the inside out.
30 years feels like a fresh start. But this fresh start comes with much more know how than any other fresh start I’ve ever had. 30 feels like goodbye to many things I’m happy to leave behind… and hello to some great things I’m excited to get working on. :D
